Welcome back guys! I just returned from camping with friends, where I met and got closer with so many people, which is something I am so grateful for. When I opened my mailbox, the first question at the top was a really interesting one regarding friendships. Coincidentally, this related to what I have spent most of my time building during these few days. It's also something we all relate to at some point in life or another. And that is...
"My friends are leaving me for another friend and I feel lonelier than ever. What should I do and how can I make them stay? I just can't get this out of my head and it's having a huge negative impact on my life and the way I see myself. I see them tomorrow and it's just so weird because I don't even know how to act around them anymore."
This question actually ties in pretty well with 'The Bright Side of Loneliness' blog. Make sure to check that one out so that you can get more insight on loneliness, how it impacts us and how we can actually take advantage of it rather than it taking advantage of us.
First and foremost, this is something I have had a lot of experience with, and it's not pleasant at all. One thing you must know is that if they were truly your friends, they wouldn't leave you and ditch you for some other person who seems to be "more important" than you. The friends you have now shouldn't change their views on you just because someone else just waltzed in. If that person is more popular and outgoing than you, then that might be the reason why they left you for that person. Teens nowadays tend to always stick to popularity and trends rather than things that benefit them.
At the same time, you can't do anything. You can't change them or their actions, and you surely can't make them stay. You can't even change the way they see you as of now. Most of all, it isn't wise to change yourself to appear like them just to attract more friends. You are you and if your friends can't seem to enjoy or love you for you, then it's about time you find some real friends who do - friends who actually validate the core of what makes you, you. They can make their own judgments, but promise yourself that theirs won't affect your judgment on yourself.
Don't waste time changing who you are for others and mending your friendship with them because they clearly won't put in effort into keeping you either. If they don't, save your energy and time, and use this to keep yourself going. You are a completely separate being from your friends and you can't control what they do next. The only thing you can control is the outcome of all this. You can take this opportunity to find better friends that are in offer for you this time, or you could weep yourself to sleep. Think about it. At least this side of your friends have been exposed now rather than later. Everything happens for a reason. Plus, you don't deserve people who treat you this way, intentionally or not. So, save yourself, your time and your energy and invest this into things that are worth saving, e.g. your mental health and becoming a better person. In the end, you'll never be lonely. You have yourself and you'll have yourself until you die. Go save that person. You've got this.
Sam x